Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Ageism

 

Friday group at Edmonds Senior Center                                                                                                                                                           






Plenty of “isms” are hitting the fan at this time, but the “senior” focus is gathering far more momentum now than ever before. As both current presidential candidates are older than most have been, an influx of bias about being long in years is raging through the country.

Thanks to the gents running for this high office, it’s a perfect time to face this prejudice and rip away some false belief systems as well as to recognize more of the pluses.

Right now, a massive focus is on all the things we dislike about the elderly, fear for ourselves in advanced years, or disrespect in general. And I’m getting weary at the level of disrespect for two men who are/have been presidents.

Both of them have been caught “wandering” around the White House gardens and their ages have been attributed to this. For Pete’s Sake! Can’t a guy stroll around his house, enjoying some time outside? In younger presidents, this just wouldn’t be noticed or mentioned.

Reagan had Alzheimer's, but neither Biden nor Trump have been so diagnosed. They both are evincing some common realities of higher years. And let us not forget that experience and learning are a big part of those years.

A psychologist once joined one of my Write about Your Life classes. He informed us that aging actually improves long term memory while borrowing from the short term. He said, “The brain knows it’s stuffed with a lot of memories and information, so it makes that choice. Yes, we leave a room and go to the next wondering why we did that, but then we suddenly recall the names of all our grade school teachers.”

I saw this effect many times in classes. I was jealous as a younger person, wishing I recollected as much of my life as my students, and I’ve been surprised and delighted since 60 to have these experiences myself. 

But back to the presidents: We tend to slow down as our body vehicles mature. I don’t know about you, but like both of them, I’ve noticed my response time at 74 has slowed. It’s not that I don’t know the answer to your question or how to perform some occasional computer chore or where to find the swimsuit I haven’t used for a couple of years. Those tasks are well within my ability, though a younger me would have leapt to do them faster.

Though our “response time” is slowed, most people find ways to offset this issue. For example, Trump, wiggles his fingers and says nonsensical words like bing, bong, and boom. Whether he’s recognized it or not, he’s effectively “buying time” until he knows what he wants to say. Biden also gives himself space with phrases like “I really mean it.” And both of them use jokes and personal stories. These strategies are used by a lot of politicians and others who speak to crowds, including teachers and ministers.  

I’ve noticed that all the people passing judgment on the “guys” are not giving any credit for misspeaking to being extremely, extremely busy. A load of problems to solve and things to recall can overwhelm anyone’s mind. I’ll never forget going into my GRE (Graduate Record Examinations). The monitor laughingly told us that many people forget how to spell their own names on these papers. Feeling pressured and having a mind jammed full of details can do that to people at any age.

Again, for Pete’s Sake! One is running the country, dealing with wars, and campaigning while the other one is campaigning and going to numerous trials.

The flourishing of ageism at this time is similar to the realities of sexism booming when Hillary Clinton was running to be the first woman president. In a poll at that time, people were asked which they would be more likely to vote for—a black man or a woman. The outcome was much higher for a man, even though some people specified that they didn’t want a man of color, but better a man than a woman.

So, briefly: Being older has been recognized as making the majority of people happier, smarter, and kinder. I love the idea of an experienced person running my country…not just the father of a country, but the grandfather.

Here’s the list of my suggestions for a better memory:

1)      Lists help.

2)      Asking for more response time is fair.

3)      A cup or two of blueberries a day helps me.

4)      Adequate sleep, healthy food, and a bit of exercising helps me.

5)      Notes to self in my mind help. For example: Self, look around a lot when driving and don’t forget the password opens the browser.

6)      Memorizing anything is said to help (names of all your plants, a new language)

7)      Encourage synapses (those lovely connections between thoughts) by socializing for conversation, hobbies, and movement.

Finally, yes, I’m sold on my guy for the top job, but I’m never pleased to see such a raging fire of prejudice against aging and those who have attained any particular number of years. Whomever you want to win, speak out against age prejudice. If we are lucky enough to reach senior years, we want to spend that time without having to fight such a pointless bias. Facts are that many, many successful leaders through history have led till their 80s, 90s, even 100s…like those in the Senate, the House, and the Supreme Court who typically die in their boots.

by Ariele M. Huff 

My mother Pat and my granddaughter Moira



Sunday, February 18, 2024

 

                                                            Bluffer and Digger

 

These were our nicknames early in marriage.

I, seeing his discomfort below

the surface and

he, seeing I’d leave no stone unturned.

Sixteen years in, and

HE

begins to delve!

I

discover I have topsoil,

begin to groom and cultivate it.

The primordial laughter bubbles up

through the earth,

churning in my ear canal.

Bluffer and Digger:

Simply man and woman?

But now

we no longer are

simply

man and woman.

 


Ariele Huff