Why am I
blogging? And why this blog? Why about
love, romance, and sex?
Fair
questions since I haven’t been much into following blogs and previously stopped doing
a blog through Barefoot Running ezine,
a publication and a sport I love.
First reason,
my lifelong dislike of the general trend to find love, romance, and sex
laughable or disgusting in the elderly seems well shared in this way. If you
doubt this ubiquitous social attitude, recall the last time you saw a story
about the elderly couple married fifty, sixty, or more years. “Oh, they’re so
cute!” the reporter gushes. Please! Staying married that long requires a lot of
skills, guts, and nerve. To have that reduced to “cute” is so patronizing. Or
try having a conversation in a public place where you’re sharing that your over
50s aunt is in a steamy romance. Watch for the shocked faces and “E-yew” grimaces.
(Betty White has done this one a couple of times on Off Their Rockers, a series devoted to showing how the majority of
adults under 50 misjudge and perceive those over.)
Second, Nick
Wong is doing a blog from Brazil about his work there and sharing his feelings
on several topics. I found myself reading it faithfully and, though the subjects
are often sad or scary, feeling accompanied in a transitional time for me too.
I felt closer to him than to most people I saw in person. Therefore, I
concluded, blogs have that value.
Third, Marta
Horvath (in a Write About Your Life class) began doing hauntingly beautiful
stories about love in all its aspects, including sexuality. That’s unusual in
any class composed of any age group. Her writing seems the perfect counterpoint
to or medication for the disbelief or dislike of older people enjoying
flirting, courting, and mating.
DISCLAIMER:
I find it easier than easy to write about love (note the posts Love is a
Decision and Struggles: Loneliness). And I’ve previously written light erotica
and pieces about sex. HOWEVER…I am NOT finding this easy. I want to be as
personal and as authentic about sexuality as I can be about love and romance.
That’s my goal.
In actual
practice, I’m finding it difficult not to default into generalities, not to
dance around problems, not to leave myself out of the mix—to pontificate to the
masses. This self-protectiveness is understandable, of course, but the value I
found in Nick and Marta’s writing was that opening of self. Some opinions on
the blog so far are that I’m too shy and hidden or too open and sexual.
Lol ;-)
My attempt
will be to share honestly without being vulgar or explicit in a gratuitous
manner.
Oh, oh, sorry some feel that way. After all, we got this far so we must be doing something right. It is the year 2013, way past those closeted years of the fifties and sixties. Love is love, rather it's for a person, pet, place or thing. Heck, I'm in love just seeing each day start, whatever hour it is I wake up! ;-) After all these years, I've found the most important person to love is ME!
ReplyDeleteAriele, thank you for your generous compliments and for crediting me as one who inspired you somewhat to start your blog. I'd like to give back all the compliments to you for creating a space for us in your classes and here, where we, writers of all caliber and talent feel safe to express our feelings and share our experiences, romantic, sexual or other. Good luck with your blog!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Ariel, thank you for getting your blog up and running. With regard to authentic and well crafted stories about love and sexuality aimed at Boomer ilk (and older), it seems that there hasn’t been much written material made available; certainly, I don’t know where to find it. Kudos to you, then.
ReplyDeleteI’ll just throw in a few cents worth here––loose change, as it were.
A few years ago and over two decades after my parents divorced, my mother was on her deathbed. But here was my father visiting her daily. Aside from the fact that mom may have been nonplussed or even a little testy about it, this was an act of absolute and unconditional love; she, at least, appreciated that, I’m sure. Dad was a good, and big-hearted man who came to honor her in her final days, something I will never forget––unconditional love in its most beautiful and elevated form. I think about and attempt to practice this all the time––a great bequeathed lesson.
As for sexuality, I’m sure it must be an unhurried and luxurious pleasure at this juncture. I wouldn’t know, though; single me, I have entered into my monkish phase. Maybe next year.
Jere
Hey! Thank you for the great comment. As always, your cents make sense ;-) har
DeleteSingle/married/whatever, you still have sexuality. Doesn't mean, no matter what our status, that we get to have a partner! Some is better than none, a doctor told my mom--talking about a different bodily function, but it seems true either way!